This is the beginning...

It's where we all have to start right? But then again...I dunno where to begin.

I guess I have always been overweight...even as a child, I had a lil tubby belly. I know genetics are totally against me on this one, both of my parents were/are morbidly obese. My father passed away last year from a heart attack..he was 49 (hence the were part in the previous statement.) My family history is kinda sucky too...diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol. My mother was on a kick where she went to the gym religiously, ate healthy...did everything she was supposed to, for over a year...and still only got down to a size 16. -sigh-

Food was always my constant...my comforter...the thing I could turn to that would never turn its back on me. That was my problem. I ate when I was happy, sad, angry, frustrated, bored, sorrowful, and in a celebratory state of mind...

Right now, I am 24...I turn 25 in January. I have a BMI of 44.3. I weigh 274.3 according to the scale at my nutritionists office (which I saw him, Ben, two weeks ago and I go back Friday). I have been trying with my husband to conceive a child for a little more than a year, with no avail. =/

Two weeks ago I walked into the nutritionists office, scared and ashamed of the three day food journal that I had been keeping. Gosh I ate a lot. A lot of JUNK and CRAP. He was so nice. Weighed me. We sat and talked, he told me that I qualify for the Lap Band, according to a number of factors, paid for courtesy of the US Army. I had thought about the Lap Band for a LONG time, but knew that it was always out of reach...or so I thought. I didn't need to rush and make a decision now, but it was something to think about.

Here in Hawaii, the Army has this thing called the LEAN program; they teach you healthy eating habits, you go to group meetings, go through behavioral counseling, and start working toward a healthier way of eating. This starts December 1st. I have been waiting for it since, well, August. I got fed up with having no help until then, I went to my NP and said I wanted to do something sooner...that I was sick and tired of being...well...in pain, ashamed, and well...tired! She gave me a referral to Ben and I also got referred to a weight loss surgeon...I go to an information session on Bariatric Surgery next Friday.

Anyways, back to Ben...he told me to make little changes now. We were adding things into my diet: 1-2 servings of fruit a day (which I am out of...hmmm), 2-3 servings of veggies a day, 1-2 servings of dairy a day, and 2-3 servings of fish a week. He told me to snack earlier in the day, so that I didn't do so much at night, because I should still be full. I am also supposed to do 30 mins of activity/exercise a day...atleast 4 days a week. THAT'S been the hard part. It hurts to walk too long, I get winded...I can't manage to get up half a flight of stairs without needing to stop...but I tried. I got 75 mins in total last week, according to SparkPeople. That's better than the NOTHING I was doing before.

For two weeks, I have kept track of everything that I put in my face. Heck, sometimes if I think of it, I sit down at the PC and go to SparkPeople and see if it throws me off too far for the day...most of the time I talk myself out of it...that I need to stop rationalizing all the CRAP I was eating before.

I have talked with my hubby, Will, who is currently deployed, and he is all for the Lap Band...He states we will just have more leftovers in the house...lol. My mother and my sister are both for it...I even think my mom is a bit jealous! My grandma thinks it is wonderful. The three friends that I have bounced ideas off of are excited for me, and can see the determination and hope in my eyes...and apparently in my voice. There is one person, who is against it, because she has heard horror stories of pain and side effects that don't go away. I told her that the chances of that are slim, and she just went on and on. I told her that I also have a chance of being killed by a bus while walking out of my house tomorrow....that seemed to shut her up.

I have the support of many people. I am excited to tell Ben that I have decided to go for it...he said I have to lose 5-10% of my body weight before they will do it. 14-27 Pounds...I can do that! I HAVE to do that!

I hope to make some friends on here...for support...I think I may go search around for other Lap Banders....and I think I may post some "first" pictures tomorrow...who knows...this may be the best therapy out there!