I'm begging you for mercy....

I don't know what in the world is going on in my head lately...maybe it is part of this Bible study, Breaking Free, that I am doing. But lately, my addiction and comfort and control that I allow food to have over me had been in the forfront of my mind...

I was listening to the song "Mercy" by Duffy....It is about a relationship...obviously...but I mean...read it...and think about it:

I love you
But I gotta stay true
My moral’s got me on my knees
I’m begging please
Stop playing games

I don’t know what this is
But you got me good
Just like you knew you would

I don’t know what you do
But you do it well
I’m under your spell

You got me begging you for mercy
Why won’t you release me
You got me begging you for mercy
Why won’t you release me
I said release me

Now you think that I
Will be some thing on the side
But you got to understand
That I need a man
Who can take my hand, yes I do

I don’t know what this is
But you got me good
Just like you knew you would

I don’t know what you do
But you do it well
I’m under your spell

You got me begging you for mercy
Why won’t you release me
You got me begging you for mercy
Why won’t you release me
I said you better release me, yeah, yeah

Break it down

I’m begging you for mercy
Just why won’t you release me
I’m begging you for mercy
You got me begging
You got me begging
You got me begging

Mercy
Why won’t you release me
I’m begging you for mercy
Why wont you release me
You got me begging you for mercy, yeah

I’m begging you for mercy
I’m begging you for mercy
I’m begging you for mercy
I’m begging you for mercy
Why won’t you release me, yeah, yeah

Break it down

Mercy
Begging you for mercy
You got me begging
Down on my knees
I said mercy
Begging you for mercy
You got me begging


MAYBE it is just my food crazed mind lately...but WOW. I am at the point of begggging for mercy...I want to let it go...SOOOO bad. But it is so so so damn hard. :(

Then...I was putzing around on Yahoo...and Well, Jillian Michaels from TBL (The Biggest Loser) wrote/answered questions about not having time to get healthy...WOW...AGAIN!(!!!!) Hit home... I will post the 'excuses' and then post the link to the article...

Excuse: "I have zero time to exercise!"

Excuse: "I can’t afford a gym or fresh produce."

Excuse: "The cookies in my cabinet are calling me!"

Excuse: "I can’t get up early to work out, and I’m tired at night."

Excuse: "I've hit a plateau; I give up."

Excuse: "I start off Monday with the best intentions, and then life takes over and I flake on my workouts."

Excuse: "I get so bored counting all those weight reps or running."

Excuse: "But the couch is so comfy!"

The article can be found here: How many have you used?!

Well, me personally...after reading these 8 excuses...I used em all...and then some! My personal fave being: "Do you know how bad it hurts to exercise being so fat? I can't go up stairs without wanting to die!!!" After that one...my skinny friends give up on my tubby self and let it be.

Well, I am off to put the kiddo to bed...I am sure I will be on later..LOL.

OH! and I have decided to save my first VLOG for when I get my surgery date. :) Make a big deal out of it and all...ya kno?!


xoxo,
Nikki


OHHHHH!!! I am going to the monthly walk thingy that I have to participate in on top of what I do at home to meet up with some of the ladies in Triplers' bariatric program and the bariatric coordinator! I am going to mention to her that I have my Psych Eval on the 1st...so she will probably get me in with surgeon guy...

WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME DO I ASK HIM?! I mean I have the basics: what kind of band? When will first fill be? How long between fills? Will there be anything in the band at surgery? How long til I can pick up kiddo? How long till I can exercise, ADLS, ect..?

Thats all I got...ANY suggestions?

Thanks EVERYONE for input  and help!