And lost it. Ben, my nutritionist, was there. Came and sat by me. Asked what's wrong.
Poor poor Ben. Why oh why ask such a thing? To an emotional Army wife. Who is taking her white pills from the pack, ya know, the dummy birth crontrol.
I told him I noticed no difference with this fill, that 2.5 cc isn't cutting it. How I am disappointed. In myself and the band. How I expected more from it, even early on. That I haven't done any tracking. How I am making bad choices. That I am stressed and excited all at once. How I have emotionally ate. How its not a whole lot, but enough the scale went the wrong way. That I don't make the right choices. That I feel lost. And angry with myself for failing so dang soon, and that just aids in the eating, and the rationale of it all.
He said okay. It happens. I'm human. Its not gonna kill me, we will work thru it. First of all, I need 2 track again. Even If its crap, be accountable.
I am going to the post bariatric support group Monday at 3PM. He wants 2 see my food stuff then.
I need to get moving again. Walk, hike, bike, just do something.
Pull my butt out of this rut.
I cried. Told him everything. Including my hate for the army for keeping my hubby right now.
I will admit. It feels better. Only a lil bit, but its all out there.
Got the number of a cool lady. She's sweet. And was where I am now, 2 weeks ago. we shall see how it goes.
Xoxox,
Nikki
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
I totally understand where you are coming from! I too have been making horrible food choices and because of it, I have gained back some of the weight I lost.
ReplyDeleteBut don't beat yourself up about it too much, we all slide and we just need to pick ourselves up and get back on track! That is what I am doing now too.
Don't worry, you will not fail, it just takes longer for some of us to get the ball rolling!
Hugs
Hugs to you...it will get better. I know that sounds really lame, but it will and I hope the support group really helps you! I will keep you in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteOh my sweets it's okay- it's a rough time for you right now - with or without the band. Try not to be too hard on yourself...you're going to do this...I know it....I believe in you.
ReplyDeletebig hug! you will come outta the "fussy hole". you will. you have been doing great and before you know the white pills will be done, hubby will be home, and things will be cool. have you thought about doing the leslie sansone walk a mile in your living room dvds? i love them and you get a workout while you do them. they are fun. even my 7 year old does them. it might be a good alternative for you if you need to workout but have kali and etc. =)
ReplyDelete