Stress sucks. While we have a place in Tampa lined up and I have a job already...we don't know 100% when we are leaving here (Hawaii). I am excited to leave and to get back to being closer to my friends and family...and to not have to pay an arm and a leg in travel for Kali's trips to NC...but I will miss the people here so much. I have made some great friends, lost some friends, and well...I have grown so much being here and being affiliated with the military-even just as a spouse.
I go Monday for my flouroscopy appt to see where my band is leaking.Then Tuesday I see the surgeon and we schedule a date. I am at a cross-road on what I want to be told. Part of me just wants it to be the port- quick, easier surgery- can fly in a week. Part of me want it to be the actual band, so that I can get the sleeve...but with that comes longer recovery and flight restrictions. I mean, I know it is already leaking, and I can't change where it is...but....you know what I mean.
I am hoping that when they do get this fixed that I will start seeing results...while I know 75% of this is my fault (not losing) because I suck most of the time in my eating habits, but I cannot make any more excuses...I think I just get so down and frustrated with the band and it not working properly (come to find out cuz of a leak) that I do emotionally eat.
Post partum depression BITES. Most days I am fine...and most nights I sleep okay-ish...but man...when something happens, I just seem to magnify it so much more than it needs to be. I mean, I have always been an emotional person...but this is insane. I will say, however, that I am not angry and snippy anymore...I used to yell a lot...a whole lot. I have more patience now...which is a blessing with a 4 month old and a 7 year old. :)
I will post some newer pix of the baby...it's been awhile...I have been slacking...I suck...I know.. :)
Every once in a while he will hold his bottle on his own:
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| From 8/24/11 |
My lil buddah belly:
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| From 8/24/11 |
Crazy baby hair after a bath!
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| From 8/24/11 |
My babies!! :)
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| From 8/24/11 |
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| From 8/24/11 |
And I did promise a pic of the hair...after I cut 8.5 inches off and highlighted it...this is what I got:
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| From 8/24/11 |
I will try to be more active here....just been down and I am unable to get any sort of "band" or weight loss support from anywhere here locally it seems...UGH.
xoxox,
Nikki
nikki your hair is so cute! all young and hip like you :) I hope your band problem is easily fixed (new port or sleeve, whichever will be best) and that you are successfully losing soon! Your babies are so adorable too :)
ReplyDeletei did not know tacari had light eyes. they are absolutely beautiful with his skin color!! and dont worry about your band. that will get fixed, i'm sure.
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