Right?! That's what they tell us when we are growing up...
I have been in one hell of a funk...and well...I have figured out why.
It's very embarrassing to talk about, and I don't particularly like that it happened...
But....
I got addicted to the pain killers. Not like all the time blown out of my mind high....but to sleep. I relied on them to help me fall asleep with the odd feeling of my port right under my skin, with my toes hurting so bad (they don't anymore), and just the stress of everything else...that well...I didn't stop and think about what could happen.
I stopped taking them about 3 nights ago...and have had a killer time sleeping...as I mentioned in the blog before...I guess I didn't say anything about the honest reason why, because well...I was ashamed that it happened to me...I have fought a bad road with some addictions to other things in the past...and it is so frustrating that the 'a' word reared its ugly head again!
So there it is...honesty at it's realest....
Off to spend the last few mins with my bestie before I have to take her to the airport...I am sure gonna miss her!
xoxox,
Nikki
Nikki something like that is super hard to admit, well done! You're not the first for it to happen to, but you've recognised it and got over it - AWESOME!!!! Onwards and upwards. xx
ReplyDeleteDitto what Epiphany said!! Don't beat yourself up over it - some people can get addicted really quickly to pain killers and most battle them for a long time before giving them up - you are doing great!!
ReplyDeleteIt is good that you admit it and that you are being honnest with yourself. I can totaly understand why it happened. Well done on being so honnest!
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteNothing to be ashamed of here! Seriously, we all have addictions of some sort - mines the ciggies, bugger if I can kick the habit. For others its food (well, who knew lol..) and a myriad of other things!!
At least you have come forward and said whats been bothering you. Cutting yourself free from them is just the first step. Congrats xx
Acknowledging and moving forward is the most important thing, Nikki! Nothing embarrassing about it, there's a reason they are a controlled substance, it's because they ARE addictive! And to be perfectly truthful I think I took mine longer than I needed to...
ReplyDeleteIt is good that you got it out there. Now, if you still can't kick them, you have to tell someone other than us (you blogger buddies)...someone in you physical life that can drag if need be.
ReplyDeleteIt is so easy for those of us who have an addictive personality to get hooked on something.
Be proud of yourself for sharing. Now get rid of them :)
Hope you can get off the pain pills. Some get get hooked on them from the first dose and others can take them for months and stop cold turkey. Good for you for recognizing and being honest. We will always listen. Hope you get some sleep.
ReplyDeleteWell you took the first step in admitting it and really who are we to judge? We ALL have addictions to something. We're all here for you....
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ReplyDeletei'm new to reading your blog. a fellow blog follower (debi) turned me onto it. i'm glad i checked it out. we seem to have a bit in common. both military wives, both moms (stepmom counts!), both chose the band (my band date is this friday!!!). i am gonna start following you and can't wait to read more about your journey! =)
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