This is when people always decided to tell me why I should be happy.
- Atleast you get the band, there are people who would do anything to have the band and to be in your situation.
- Your husband is working. Atleast he has a job.
- You live rent free, what do you have to be stressed about?
- You have a great little girl there who loves you.
- You get to live in Hawaii!
REALLY!?
So lemme get this straight. Your husband goes away for a weekend, to Orlando, and you know exactly how I feel?
How is a business trip, any business trip...even a few weeks long, even remotely close to having your husband deployed to a WAR in Iraq/Afghanistan?!?!?
Do you have to worry about if they are gonna make it home alive? Do you have communication blackouts to where you were in the middle of a convo and it cuts out and you don't hear from them for days at a time? Is 3 days anything like 7 months I have gone thru...or the entire YEAR that this whole thing is gonna take?
Yeah I am sure you totally know how I feel. =/
I know I am blessed to have the band, but ya know...I guess I was expecting a little more than I am getting here.
I know my Hubby has a job...I know that I live rent free...and I know I get to live in Hawaii...
BUT IT IS ALL ALONE.
I don't have to worry like some others do, about living paycheck to paycheck...but jeez, I get to worry about if after this year I will still have a family. Remember, Kali isn't mine...heaven forbid something happens to him...I lose her too. I lose it ALL. (I don't like to think about that aspect, I know he will make it homes safely, but it is always a possibility.)
It was a bad day...and people seem to know what I go through.
I dunno man...I just needed to get this out. It irritates the crap outta me when people like to get it in their heads that they understand.
No offense to anyone...but unless you are married into the military, and have had a spouse deployed to a war, you have no idea what I go through.
That said...I hope you ladies still love me...and don't think that I am too much of a b*tch...but it irks me.
Hope you're all having a fantastic weekend!
xoxox,
Nikki
Permission to be irked - that sucks!!
ReplyDeleteOuch - But I totally hear you. No one can put themselves in your position but you. You sound like you have a right to be pissed off. Hope you feel better now :) We are always here to listen..
ReplyDeleteI completely DON'T know how you feel. It must be constant fear and that kind of stress is really not good for the whole "better food choices" thing. Don't be too hard on yourself about that and I hope your family is reunited soon! Bug hug!!
ReplyDeleteIt was definately insensitive. People sometimes don't know what to say when something sucks balls. The band is great but its still hard work. Yes your DH has a job, but how many people would want his job? You're going through a rough spot, you have the right to vent.
ReplyDeletei am married to the military and went through a deployment last summer, but yet i STILL don't know how you feel because i've never dealt with a deployment to a dangerous place or war or etc. so i can't even relate to a lot of what you're feeling. some folks just don't understand and try to claim they do. it sucks. i'm sorry you're having a rough time of it. i wish i could send you a hug!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow I have no idea how that must feel. I thank God that we have brave families that make the huge sacrifaces that yours is made for all of us. I am so sorry for your tears. You should be as sad as you need to you do have a huge load on your shoulders. Know that by sharing with us on your blog you are get prayers that you are not even aware of.. and I shed a tear for you last wek when you found out your hubby wasn't coming. I wish better days to come. However I have no idea how you feel and even though I recently started reading your blog I think you are a very brave strong gal on a very healthy path.
ReplyDeleteOnly you know how you feel.. but I am sure most people are good in their words and intentions .. it is too bad you are not closer so some of us could visit you .. but you always have us to let off steam.. and we don't mind it because we all do it.. no one can know for sure what you are going through.. the not knowing is never easy... we send out a big hug to you and your little girl.. soon hubby will be home and the smile will be back on your face.. stay well
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are feeling so down. And you have every right to be pissed. I can't understand how you must feel because what you are going through is very unique. All I can offer is an ear to listen and great big {{{HUGS}}}. And a safe return for your hubby.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with the others and I just hope that I wasn't one of the ones that upset you! As I for one, could never know what you are really going through!
ReplyDeleteNone of my spouses (count em 4 of them (eek)) has ever been in the Military, and my Dad couldn't pass the medical when he tried to enlist!!
So rant all you want, you need to blow off some steam for sure, and we are always here to listen.
Yes, you live in Paradise and I always joke that I am jealous, but Paradise really isn't much of a Paradise when your heart isn't there with you!
We are hoping to go back to Hawaii in September or October 2011, if you are still there, and we do make it, maybe we could meet up?